damn it. sch started for just like 3 days and i feel so fucked. everyone is shutting me up. every damn thing is screwing itself up. nothin is goin good for me. if u think im whining or anything. OK I AM! just close this window if u want but for those who cares, im just feeling so bad and down now so pardon all this nonsense.

ever since i logged on msn this evening around 10+pm. i have been lookin for someone to actually have a good chat with me. those that i wished for werent online. those that came on later were busy. some were tired. others cant be bothered. seriously am i so pathetic. joan often commented that i have many frens in campus. well now u see. haf so many kam lan? nobody be there for u when u need someone to confide in. shit like this happens so many times to me. why cant i just fuckin get used to it. adapt to it ok. like fuck hell its gonna happen. nb la. some stuffs i cant tell to everyone and those that i wan to personally share with are nt online. LESLIE!!! faster get back ur fucking internet la. im gay i need u in my life ok. fuck it.

then there are some that i wan to haf a good talk with. busy busy busy and more busy. fuck la singapore so busy izzit. got response sua. some got respond equal no response. sua also. winner of them all is simply ignoring you. argh nb. this sat the bbq. i just hope i can just get all this fuckin nonsense out of me.

restrictions. my life is my own. i noe u guys care. but trust me i am not a moron or an idiot. i take in advice. i noe myself. most imptly. i dare say i have descipline. i may look like a fool, some busking joker. but hell sometimes i wished i was back in sec sch. being tamed down for so long could just force the cage to break. at least in sec sch all this shit would be passed to all my kakias. giving commands in front of the sch is like a legal way of shouting. if u fuckin shout at east coast park, those morons on the beach would this which siao kia just ran out frm hougang. fuck la. really i hope the bbq would be a good 1. if u wan pangseh pls fuckin say no in the first place ok. seriously even if the response is nt gd, as long as brotherhood is there i am satisfied liao.

fuck it. life is alwaes making a fool out of people. when can all this torment end. i wanna get back my life. the life that i had before holidaes started. too much bitterness for that little sweetness in my life.

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