Everything seems so far away. Somehow I feel so detached from everything. Money really is something that you cannot live without. Without money, I’ve got limited transport. I tend to stay at home all day. I exclude myself from the activities that my frens and buddies are doing. I feel left out. Not that I want it but I don’t have a choice. Without money, my toy collection stalls. Everything in my room looked like how it was a month ago. Nothing new. Not used to it. Without money, I have no mood to study the new card expansion. Without money equals no new cards equals fucked up rankings in the tourney. Tried clearing my collection but no one offers good price for it. Maybe, I should just sell at $300. Clear it and just forget about everything.

Yes, I made my beloved jac pissed at me. I do not want to make it seem like I have an excuse. Maybe this isn’t a reason at all. Why couldn’t I just control my emotions. I was rather pissed because of the tourney results. Tried to sound different in front of jac becos she sound really happy when I called her. In the end she went on and on about this guy who helped her. YES, take it that I was jealous. Adding on to the fucked up tourney, I guess things just took a turn for the worst. I carried on smiling and playing with her. When I reached home, I was actually quite distracted, guess I wasn’t paying attention to her on the phone. Until a point she scolded me or something, thereafter, I tried paying attention but I guess I just pissed her off by hanging up the phone. I hung up the phone in a playful manner and I called her back immediately. But oh well shit happens so yeah, I ate up the shit.

Threw some temper and in the end just didn’t carry on with the conversation. After I cooled down a little I called her back. Chatted awhile but could her she was really slpy so asked if she wanted to slp. She said yes and she went to slp. IN MY HEART I REALLY WANTED TO TALK MORE. But what can I do. In the end came over to type this shitload of stuff.

I really feel in a whirl. I feel like telling you everything but I just don’t want you to worry. But yet even if I did, I think you can’t really do much about it too. What a life. Cheers to NS. Hope it brings about a reset point in my life.

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