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September 26, 2009Posted by on
Somehow at this point of time, I’m feeling utterly down, utterly lost. I’ve lost track of time, lost track of what has happened to me. I’m constantly wondering, where has my usual courage flown to. Or maybe because this wall that’s been built up is something that pinpoints directly into the only weakness in my heart, piercing right through.
Feels like a sweetest coma.
I’m conscious, but I just don’t want time to move on. Stuck in a glass bottle, knowing very well what is happening outside, but everyone else who is out there, have no idea what is happening inside. I just want to be captured in my own bubble. Staying constant, feeling constant.
Really what is it that I desire for.
I don’t even think I dare to have this sense of desire anymore. Perhaps being in the bubble is not so bad after all. How long has it been since I blogged something so emotional. I can’t recall any posts in the last 24 months that is somewhat closely related to such emotions. Times like this makes one feels so nostalgic. Times like this make me feel so young again.
The scent of the night tingling in. Sniffing the air through my window. Something is telling me that a new beginning is coming. The rise of the sun welcoming a new series of hope. Maybe that’s what is going to happen. Or simply perhaps it is just an illusion of self denial influenced by the desire of the heart.
Everything is annoying me now. Everyone and everything. Annoying. This is just sad.
Really, time to turn in now. The mind’s getting really worn out. I suppose a good sleep would suffice, that is if it’s even a good one to begin with. Ciao.